Men: it’s time to step up and take accountability for rape culture
Content warning - discussion of rape and sexual assault
Since the death of Sarah Everard, #NotAllMen has been trending on twitter. This has been met with a backlash as women’s rights groups have articulated that instead of men excusing themselves for their personal behaviour, society needs to stand up and look at the wider structural failures that permit men to routinely abuse women.
The media have always revelled in sexual scandals; the cataclysmic downfall of giants in film and business who have been found to be guilty of sexual misconduct, assault, and harassment. The names Weinstein and Epstein certainly come to mind. The media levels accusations of ‘monster’, ‘paedophile’ and ‘predator’ (all certainly applicable) in order to explain and justify how society allowed these hugely successful men to sexually exploit women. “It was in their nature”; the implication being that these men could not be stopped by society.
Language such as ‘monster’, ‘paedophile’ and ‘predator’ hide the real issue with how we teach and educate men to behave towards women. From the past month’s developments, this myth is rapidly unravelling. These notable sexual criminals only glint the surface of a society which permits (particularly) men to operate as sexual predators.
After the death of Sarah Everard, thousands of girls have spoken out about their experience of sexual harassment in independent private schools in London. Publishing their testimonies on the page, Everyone’s Invited, reports of sexual harassment have offered stark depictions of the systemic misogyny which underlies an environment in which schoolgirls are not safe. In some cases, schools signed non-disclosure agreements with the girls who had reported their experiences, showing an overt refusal to address or even acknowledge the presence of sexual abuse.
The issue runs far further than independent schools; in October 2020 The Guardian published an article which called for action against Universities’ mishandling of sexual abuse cases, which they found systematically placed survivors of sexual misconduct at a disadvantage to those men accused.
The investigation revealed that in some universities survivors could not access evidence submitted against them, nor could they attend a hearing into their complaint, to know the full outcome, or to appeal it. An organisation known as the 1752 Group issued new guidance for universities to adopt and yet one year on the picture is strikingly similar. Universities say they have a ‘zero tolerance’ approach to sexual misconduct, but the reality is far different.
Almost every day at university I hear men talking about women in a derogatory, degrading way; making some judgement on a woman based on their sexual behaviour or physical appearance.
Comments like “oh my god she’s a catfish”, “I heard she got ragged by that guy last week” and “she needs to let loose” are commonplace in conversations. In fact, I hear these phrases so frequently that I have become desensitized to the blatant misogyny they expose.
‘Banter’ in such a form normalises the objectification and subjugation of women as figures of scrutiny and ridicule for the enjoyment of men. This ‘banter’ contributes to a vocal and resounding message: that women’s bodies are not their own.
A lot of the past week’s focus has been to promote male allyship; educating men so that they can choose to opt out from a ‘laddish’ culture which degrades women. Certainly, male allyship at university does not go far enough. Men often provide support to a friend who has directly suffered sexual abuse, but they fall short of challenging the framing of women as objects of male surveillance. Education services such as schools and universities need to do better. When they are silent and covert about accusations of sexual abuse, women do not speak out about their experience and abuse goes unreported. Creating a culture of mutual respect and consideration has never been of more importance to women in and outside of education.
I have never felt safe walking in the dark. Even with company I still feel a sense of unease and unsafety. Although me and my friends laugh about sprinting home from a night out visiting friends, this week has highlighted that this fear is not irrational. It comes from a deep acknowledgment that women in our society are not safe. The daily deaths of women reaffirm the reasons why speaking out against the endemic misogyny is necessary and can potentially save lives.
Written by Sofia - Conscience Collective
